October 17

Well, today was pretty much a waste, energy wise for me. Didn't even REALLY want to get out of the bed this morning. I finally got up around 8:00 and had breakfast. Was in the shower around 10:00. I had one goal today and that was to clean three bathroom sinks. YEAH!! Goal met. We had some friends stop by and bring us some homemade goodies and visited for a bit. I've spent the entire afternoon watching college football from the bed. Did work on my sweater. Still not happy with the way it is looking. Going to put the sleeves in tomorrow and if it still doesn't look right I'll take it to the knitting shop next week and let them tell me how to fix it. Been fighting a headache all day. Hopefully, it will disappear during the evening. Also, just took some Motrin. Hope that helps. Hoping for a more energetic day tomorrow.

October 16

Today was a very lazy day. The weather is cold and rainy. No sun in site for the weekend. I got a few things done today; dusting, cleaning glass and writing some thank you notes. I basically felt tired all day today. I took a nap before lunch and another 2 hour nap late this afternoon. Guess I need to learn to just listen to my body and do what it wants me to. Be interesting to see what the next couple of days bring. So far, not too bad.

October 15

Today was another good day. So far no ill effects of the treatment yesterday. I am waiting for the brick to hit me when I'll be spending 2 days in bed. But for now, I'm just going about my business as normal. It was a cold, rainy, dreary day. Paxton and I went for a long walk this morning. And, I bundled up like crazy and took the umbrella. I went out to Lettuce Knit today to get a small sweater issue resolved. It was good to see my friends at the shop. I let Paxton out to have run of the house while I was gone. When I left he was curled up on the ottoman and when I returned he was in the exact same spot. Don't think he moved the entire time I was gone. Spent today trying to get as much protein as I could with each meal and snacks; peanut butter, yogurt, walnuts, Special K crackers, cheese stick, protein milk shake, salmon. Don't really know how much I should be eating but I feel like I ate enough today. Hoping for another good day tomorrow.

October 14 - First Chemo Treatment

My bff Kathy came to pick me and spend my first day of chemo treatment with me. What a blessing. It took about 45 minutes for them to get started due to lack of blood work results from the hospital. You'd think they would have started getting it yesterday. I was pleased that I wasn't going to have to go through it again, though. So, at 10:15 they put the needled in my vein. There was some discussion about getting a "port" put in just below my clavicle bone so they wouldn't have to mess with the vein. But both the Dr. and nurses said I have great veins so we went that route. I'm getting very used to being stuck with needles so it doesn't bother me at all. I ALWAYS watch what they are doing. Don't know what I'm going to do if I don't like what I see, though. Then the plastic bags of liquids started to flow. First there were a couple of bags of saline solution, a bag of Zantac, a bad of Benedryl (loves to put me to sleep) another bag of saline and then 1 LARGE bag of chemical #1 and then 1 LARGE bag of Chemical #2. All this came with warnings of you really shouldn't feel much different but if you have any shortness of breath, tingling, etc. etc. please let us know. Everything was fine. There was much visiting with all of the other ladies getting their treatments. Some wanted to give all of their details others just wanted to talk about our knitting projects, etc. It made passing the time much easier. Kathy stayed with me until after lunch and then went to run some errands. I took a couple of SHORT cat naps. The liquid finally finished flowing at 2:15. I had to come home and take another nausea pill - Zorfran and some Miralax to prevent constipation. Yes, I said it, sorry! One of our neighbors brought chicken, rice, jello salad and lemon pie for dinner. I tried to concentrate on the protein, as per instruction, BUT I REALLY WANTED TO EAT ALL OF THAT RICE!!! More leftovers for tomorrow. So far I'm feeling pretty good. I took a nap this afternoon. I'm feeling a bit draggy but I decided take a long walk with Steve and Paxton prior to dinner. It was great to get some fresh air and move around after sitting all day. Kathy went out shopping and I asked her to pick up a Magic Bullet for me so that I can make protein smoothies and shakes. It seems like a great gadget, even grinds meat. I'll see once I give it a try. So conclusion is, the process of getting the treatment is long but non-eventful. Now we'll see how the aftermath goes.

Monday & Tuesday

Not much but the ordinary. Monday I increased my walk to twice around the neighborhood, 2 times. I worked on my knitting projects for most of the day, taking it pretty easy, AGAIN. Today, Tuesday is 2 weeks since my surgery. I've quit taking the pain medication and haven't taken any Motrin today. So far so good. Not pain free, but livable. I was told I could drive at 2 weeks so I went to Target this morning. I needed to get some vitamins and I found a cute hat that I liked. We'll see how cute it looks with no hair (which apparently will start to happen 3 weeks from my first treatment.) Ross, Valerie and Jr stopped over this evening. Always good to see them. That JR always put a smile on my face. Dinner was dropped off this evening again. Was yummy. Chemo tomorrow.

Sunday October 11

Had a good few hours of running errands today. Just felt like I needed to get out of the house. The incision is still sore but is getting to be less and less of a problem. We went to BJ's, Walmart and then out to lunch. I came home and rested for most of the afternoon. We went to our neighbors for dinner. They were scheduled to bring food over but wanted to know if we felt like going over there. I was nice again to have a change. Got home at about 8:30 and then hit the bed for an evening of reality tv.

Saturday Oct. 10

Decided it was time to go out so I went with Steve to Kroger and to pick up the prescriptions. I picked up some yogurt with lots of protein and some protein crackers for lunch during chemo. Steve picked up things like chips and soda. I spent the afternoon watching Virginia Tech overpower Boston College. We had a progressive dinner party at 6:30. Everything went really well. I do pretty well as long as I can sit in a soft chair. We had a great time, and it was good to get out of the house and talk to different people. Steve backed a caramel apple pie for dessert that was out of this world. It moved up to #1 apple pie with me. We stayed the entire evening and got home at 11:00. We had taken Paxton out at 6:oo before we left the house. Steve always feels about about leaving him in his crate so always wants to have him sleep with us on evenings that we go out. So--he put him in the bed and then all of a sudden Paxton jumps off the bed and starts doing what we call the doggie dash in the pitch dark. Steve got out of bed to get him, but all he wanted to do was play so he took off the other way. He ended up going in the crate for the evening. THEN----at 4:00 a.m. he starts with the non stop barking. (He NEVER barks in his crate). I told Steve that is must need to go outside because we didn't take him out when we got home. So Steve schlep himself out of bed and took him out. After, we had a quite rest of the evening.

2nd Weekend Home

October 9 - Had a post op Dr. appointment. He basically just wanted to look at my incision. He removed some of the tape and was very proud of the way that it looked. He also asked if we had heard the news about the results and said he was very excited and pleased. He said he just doesn't see Stage 1 and with the negative results we should feel very good. We definitely agree. We met with the chemo nurse to get a handful of prescriptions for anti-nausea medication and set up the first treatment (next Wed.). I got a mini lecture on how this is not the time to worry about dieting. I need to eat whatever I want or feel like but to get plenty of protein. If I can't eat I'm to drink so that I won't get dehydrated. Apparently they will test my electrolytes etc, prior to the following treatment and if they are "not right" I won't be able to get the treatment. I certainly do want to drag this out any longer than I have to if I can do something to prevent it. We left the office and went to Quiznos for a salad for lunch and also dropped of the prescriptions. After lunch we picked up Paxton. He was VERY happy to see us. As soon as we got home Steve gave him a bath. He had such a good time playing in the dirt with his friends for a week. Next hurdle is chemo.

At Home

Steve went back to work on Monday but was nice enough to come home daily at 1:00 ish and finish his work in the office here. I was nice to have some company. I certainly am not used to being at home all day every day AND not being able to do anything. Dr's. orders were that I could walk and that was about it. No doing anything or lifting anything over 5 lbs. Honestly, I didn't feel like doing much more than that anyway. I was told to call the Dr. office for the pathology results. The computer system that "brings" the results was down so the nurse said she would call me on Tuesday.

Tuesday - I was just getting in the shower when the nurse called. She said "All of the results came back NEGATIVE". "You just made my day", said I. Honestly, I did feel a sense of relief. Probably not a much as Steve did though. He was so happy, his face/smile looked like a 4 year old on Christmas morning. That was definitely the best news we could have received at this point.

I only had one teary moment on Saturday after I got home when Steve gave me a big hug. I wasn't expecting it and it didn't last for long. "We'll get through this," he said to me. I knew he was right.

The rest of the week I spent watching TV in bed walking 2 or three times a day trying to go a bit further each time and drinking lots of fluid. My appetite has been good but I'm only able to eat small portions, much to my chagrin.

Steve has been unbelievable. He has kept the house clean, done the laundry AND the ironing and the grocery shopping. He won't even let things pile up so I've seen the ironing board more in the last 2 weeks than I thought was possible. He even is ironing his long sleeved dress shirts. He has decided that he kinda enjoys it and says it is quite therapeutic. "Good", I say. Maybe I just "lost" one of my "jobs", DARN.

First Weekend Home

Came home to a pup that was very happy to see me. Trouble is: he's short, energetic and loves to give kisses. All of the above really hard for me when I can't bend over. He came to say hello to me once I made it to the bed but I was really nervous about the incision. Things went okay, but I was kinda concerned. I spent Friday mostly in bed but Steve and I did go outside twice that day for very short walks just up the street. While I was in the hospital I decided that I would like to spend my recuperation time wearing scrubs as I thought they'd be comfortable and more attractive than old gray sweats. So, Steve set off on Friday afternoon to go to Walmart. He came back with 3 outfits that were colorful and cute and they actually fit. So it's scrubs for me. I don't have to change my clothes when I go outside and I can lay in the bed with them. I'd highly recommend them to anyone who wants to be comfortable. Plus, at Walmart they are pretty cheap. I convinced Steve that we needed to send Paxton to boarding for the next week. I didn't know how much time Steve would be at home plus I just didn't want to have to worry about the pup. Steve really did not want to do it, but he did drop Paxton off on Saturday morning. For me, it was a good decision, it allowed me to concentrate on my recuperation without having to worry about what was going on with the dog. Kathy and Charlies came over on Sunday and brought us Buzz and Neds barbecue for lunch. It was really good, but I've discovered that I can't eat nearly as much as I get full really quickly. Leftovers for the freezer.

Hospital Stay

After surgery. I had the pressure cuffs on my legs to prevent blood clots and also a catheter. They removed both of them on Wednesday morning. I had another lovely lunch of soup, tomato this time and all of the normal clear foods, YUK. The Dr. and RA came in that morning and went over the results with us again, telling us it looked like Stage one, which is the best news we could get at this point. He said he'd let us know when pathology came back. I asked if I could walk and they said yes. So after lunch Steve and I headed down the hall (less than 24 hours after surgery) on our first walk. It was not easy but I was still on a morphine pump so I just pushed the button and off we went. We happened to meet the RA in the hall way and he said "WOW, I've never seen anyone up out of bed this early after that kind of surgery before". "You told me I could walk so that's what I'm doing". I took a walk 3 times per day after that. All other vital signs were doing well also. Steve decided to stay Wednesday night also. He slept like a rock all night long as again the nurses were in and out (turning on the light) checking vitals again. Thursday was more of the same. I kept being asked if I was passing gas yet. Apparently I was to be on clear liquids until that time. UGH!!! Well, I was meeting expectation on Thursday afternoon. Steve spent the night at home on Thursday and went to pick up Paxton. He stayed at home in his crate on Friday but Barbara picked him up for his daily walks. Friday was check out day. The RA came in first and gave me a lecture on not overdoing. He said he never has to tell people to make a conscious decision to take it easy and not overdo. He said he thinks I may have an issue with doing too much too soon. "Just a guess," he said. HUH? I'd say he was pretty correct. The doc came in later and talked a bit about the chemotherapy treatment and that we would probably start in 2 weeks. No pathology results yet. I was still in the same frame of mind that I was going to refuse to worry until someone really gave me something to worry about. He suggested I call the office on Monday for the results. Steve filled the pain medication prescriptions, got his flu shot and we left the hospital at around 12:00.

September 29-Surgery Day

Steve worked from home this morning. We needed to arrive at the surgery center at noon, which we did. It wasn't long before they had me in a little room and started going through all of the questions and hooking me up to an IV. They had to take a typing blood sample again just to make sure there was no mistake, incase I needed a transfusion. Steve was allowed in once I was all hooked up and all blood was drawn. We waited a LONG time. The anesthesiologist came in and discussed what would happen. I was going to be getting Propofal (the Michael Jackson drug). We also had the nausea discussion again and he ordered a pill for me and an ear patch that would last 2 days. I was determined not to let my stomach get the best of me. The Dr. came in around 2:30 and said we would be starting soon. Since it was around 3:00 I think we got stuck waiting for shift change. Not sure exactly when I was wheeled away. I remember going down the hall and arriving to the surgery room. It seemed like there was alot of stuff in there like a storage room and it was very noisy. Seemed like there was quite a few people being very busy. That's it for me. Next thing I remember was Steve, Ross and Valerie standing beside my bed telling me that it was malignant and they had to do the biopsies. Steve was upset. I heard what he said but I remember still not thinking the worst at this point. I'm sure it had much to do with the drugged state I was in. I don't remember going to my room but I do remember Steve being there and deciding to spend the night with me. I was really grateful, I didn't want to be there by myself and he didn't want to go home by himself. Nurses came in all night checking my temperature and blood pressure. Steve got up at 7:00 ish and went home to take a shower. I had a lovely breakfast of beef broth, jello, italian ice, coffee. The salty stuff tasted super salty to me and sweet stuff tasted super sweet. YUK> I must say the hospital was really nice. All of the nurses were very friendly and super helpful. Everyone on the floor had private rooms. I was in the corner so I had 3 big window that looked out at the tree tops so it was very nice. I really had no complaints about the hospital.

The rest of the week prior to the surgery

The next few days were spent just trying to get through the days and patiently waiting for Tuesday to arrive. My neighbors were still taking care of Paxton during the week. Steve had his hands full on the weekend. I had to start eating a light diet on Sunday and only clear fluids on Monday. My surgery was scheduled for Tuesday at 3:00 so I was going along time, for me, on not much food. I had to do a colon cleansing on Monday, just in case they had to do biopsies. I ended up that this was the best thing ever. I don't know if it opened up more space in my abdominal cavity or not but on Tuesday I was feeling better than I had felt for the past 10 days. It was really nice to get some relief from the pain. Not a great way to get relief but at that point I was pretty happy about it. We worked out with Barbara that Paxton would stay at her house temporarily until we could figure out what we were going to do. She has a miniture Schnauzer, Bogart, who is Paxton's best bud so we knew Paxton would be okay and probably pretty happy to spend time with his friend. Surgery tomorrow.

September 25

Yesterday and today were spent on the couch trying to get through the pain. Was taking the meds but they really weren't doing much of anything. My neighbor, Barbara, came down twice a day and was kind enough to take Paxton for his daily walks as there was no way I could. Things got so bad that I called the Drs. office and they said that if my pain was that bad that I needed to go to the emergency room. I called Steve at 4:00 and asked him to come home because we were going to have to go to the hospital. We headed off at around 5:00. When I arrived at the hospital I told them that there was no way I could sit in the waiting room and that I needed a place to lie down. They pointed me toward a couch and a nurse came in and said she would be with me soon. I did actually get through the check in pretty quickly and was very happy to get to a bed. They decided to do a CT scan just to make sure there was nothing else besides the cyst going on. I had to drink 32 ounces of stuff and then wait an hour. At the same time I was taking pain medication. I did have an issue with my stomach and they then had to give me anti nausea meds. I went for the test and while I was there they also injected die into my IV. Results were that there was nothing else going on, YEAH and they changed my pain medication to percocet. They also gave me some anti nausea stuff to take with the percocet. I spent the next couple of days just wanting Tuesday to come so that I could get to surgery.

September 23

Today was the day of pre-op surgery appointment. Went to the hospital first thing in the morning and completed all of the necessary paperwork. I was then run through a bunch of tests: blood pressure, oxygen levels, ekg, lots of bloodwork, urinalysis and chest xray. Guess everything was okay because I never heard anything. They did keep saying things like, "you are in such great shape, your oxygen is 100%, can't get much better than that, etc. I went home and spent the majority of the day on the couch in pain. I called the Drs. office as soon as I got home and FINALLY got a return call at 5:oo p.m. They were calling a prescription to my pharmacy. I waited until 6:00 (Steve was out at a dinner meeting) and went to pick it up. I arrived and found that the prescription had not been called in. I didn't know if it just wasn't called or maybe they had called a different location, so.... I went home and called the service for the DR. Within the 1/2 the DR. himself called and said he had talked to the nurse and she had phoned a different pharmacy. I got in my car again and took off on the drug quest. I pulled up at the second pharmacy drive through and they said they didn't have it. Well, during the conversation we realized that I was sitting at a CVS pharmacy and my meds were across the street at the Rite Aid. I just assumed I was at the Rite Aid, DUH!!! So long story short, I finally got them and returned home at about 7:00 p.m. Thank goodness. When Steve came home he got an earful of the play by play.

September 21

From Friday through the weekend I had bouts of pain and some relief. Didn't feel really great but was able to function. (I have been know to have a very high pain tolerance). Monday Steve and I headed to the appointment with Dr. West. We met with him in his office and got a run down on what the report said. To our and especially my surprise the cyst was 14cm (5.5 inches). "How on earth could something that big be inside of me and I have no clue?" Apparently there is plenty of extra room in there for things like this. Who knew? Here is what I remember from that visit: "Most of the time these large cysts are benign. There is nothing that I can say (after the exam) that would make me think that this is cancer, BUT there is no way I can tell you that until we get in there." Oh, yes we are going to have to remove it and you will have an incision."Okay, I think. Still no reason, YET, to board the worry train. Just decided and convinced myself that I was not going to worry about the unknown. When/if someone gives me something to worry about I would deal with it when the time comes. Right now, it seemed like a waste of good energy. He explained that there would be a frozen section of the cyst sent to the lab while I was still "out". If things were okay, they would stitch me up and I'd be on my way. If it came back positive he would be removing my appendix, lymph nodes and omen-tum. There would also be "staging" biopsies taken in numerous places. Oh by the way, this guy looked and reminded me of Steve Martin. Same kind of hair and a pretty good sense of humor. I really liked him. He was kind but didn't mince any words. We left there and went to Burger King for lunch. So much for the healthy diet, what the hell, lets just have a burger and fries.

September 12 - VACATION

Finally, vacation! We were all looking forward to this for so long. The five of us, plus Paxton piled into 2 cars and headed out for a 5 hour or so drive to South Carolina. We were staying in a house 1 block off of the beach with a private pool. Our plan was to basically do nothing but lay around eat, read, knit, sleep, walk on the beach and sit at the pool. That's pretty much what we did. Ross and I decided to alternate cooking in the evenings. We had some really great food, I must say. Also, must say the Ross is a much better cook than I will ever be. JR spent the week learning to pull up on anything he could find and cruise around the couches and tables. So much for all of the toys we packed. He also spent a few mornings on the beach in the sand. Messy but cute. Paxton loved the beach. Chased the birds and the waves. He was a sandy mess but it was worth seeing him have so much fun. Steve road his bike every morning, like the good boy that he is. I took a ride with him on Thursday. I ended up getting a sore throat on the evening that we arrived and it went into a head cold so I fought that off all week. We watched JR one day so that the kids could have a break and go "exploring" and they did the same for us (with Paxton). Steve did have his first "hot" Kripsy Creme donut. He was impressed! We took Paxton for a walk every morning and late afternoon. On Friday morning we were walking and I started to get a "stitch" in my side. By the time we got home I was in so much pain I could hardly stand up. I spent the rest of the day on the couch trying to act like it was no big deal. Everyone went to a "southern" lunch buffet and I stayed at home. I do believe the take home meal they brought me weighed a minimum of 15 lbs. I didn't make even a small dent. The pain never really went away but I did the best I could to do what needed to be done, as we were leaving the next morning for home. Ross and I wanted to get home to see the VT football game at 3:00.

September 11, 2009

Nine eleven, 2009. I had just finished working out on the elliptical machine and completed 600 sit ups which has been my routine of late. It was 7:00 a.m. and the phone rang. It was my physician saying that I needed to come into the office and discuss the results of the ultrasound. "You've got to be kidding". I wasn't feeling really great, because how often do doctors ask patients to come to the office to discuss a test when there are no issues. NEVER! So I called Steve and asked him if he would come with me. We arrived at 9:00 ish and didn't have to wait long. First a nurse came in and asked if we'd been given the information for Dr. West? I told her we had not and actually we had not been told anything as of yet. I looked at Steve and said, "Hum, wonder what kind of a Dr., Dr. West is?" Then the doctor came in and basically just spilled it "you have a cyst on your ovary". "Oh really." Here's what I remember: "I'm going to be sending you to Dr. Randal West, he's a gynecological oncologist. The best in the city. If I were facing what you are facing I would be going to him." At one point she said the cyst was 14mm which is about the size of a marble. I thought I heard her say 14 cm. which is about 6 inches but we had some discussion and she ended up getting a ruler and drawing 14mm on my arm. I'm thinking at the time, "That doesn't seem too bad". Her last statement to us was "just remember the power of prayer". She walked us out of the office and gave me that, I'm so sorry look, touched me on the arm and said if you need anything from me please let me know. I was to be getting a call from Dr. West's office with an appointment. I got the call while in the car going home. My appointment- 9/21-09, the Monday following our vacation to South Carolina with Ross, Valerie, and JR. I called Ross to tell him the news but also told him not to worry about it until we had something concrete to worry about. I didn't want this to ruin our vacation. I was determined not to let it ruin mine or anyone else's if I could help it. Oh, by the way, up until this point I had no symptoms what so ever!

September 9, 2009

Last night I spent following multiple instructions to get ready for the ultra sound. No fatty foods, no eating after midnight. I had to also drink 32 ounces of water 1 hour prior to the test. Thank goodness I was scheduled for 8:30 in the morning and was not kept waiting. The exam went well. They apparently looked at all of my organs in the abdominal cavity as well as kidneys and spleen. At the time, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but what do we lay folk know about medical screening. At one point she did ask me if what she was doing hurt and I confidently said "No". "I am just supposed to ask you", she said. I was in and out of there, including the mammogram in about 1 hour. Done, cross that off my list and get on with trying to get ready for vacation on Saturday the 12th. Now all I have to work on health wise is increasing my weight bearing exercise and doing it at least 5 days per week so that I can get my cholesterol back done. I had it down once before but the diet went to hell and the exercise fell off a bit. So, now I'm back on the exercise bandwagon and eating the South Beach diet. (I'm getting really tired of looking at eggs). Manageable I would say just a bit of a diet & exercise change. (Little did I know)

It all began August 24,2009

I have always followed the rules, no matter what they may be. If the door says enter, I enter and not exit, if I'm supposed to be somewhere at 10:00, I'm there at 9:50, if some nutrition expert says cut down on the fat for better health, there was no longer any "real" bacon in our house. If the doctor said increase your exercise to 5 days a week and add weight resistant training, I began the next day. I've always been one to do as I was told especially to increase my chances of good health. So on August 24th I had my annual physical exam. No symptoms, no issues, no complaints. Nothing abnormal, same ole weight, blood pressure, and stirrups. My doc did make a recommendation that I get an abdominal ultra sound. "Why?" "Well, you are over 50 and post menopausal so I like to recommend that my ladies get it just to make sure everything is okay." "So it's just a baseline, should we say?" I will admit that my first thoughts were in regards to the "issues" of our current health care system and whether this was "really" necessary. But, being the obedient girl that I am I made the appointment for September 9th, along with my annual mammogram. Might as well save some time and get it all done at the same time.